Discussing Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships as a Part of Sex Education

Article reprinted from the Girls Coalition Newsletter
By Elizabeth Nichols

One important aspect of sex education that is often ignored is the topic of teen dating violence. Research indicates that one of every five high school girls experiences physical or sexual violence in her dating relationships. Therefore, any comprehensive dialogue about girls' sexuality and sex education must include a discussion of relationships and gender violence, and an awareness that when teenagers are experiencing difficult times, they are more likely to turn to their peers than to adults.

A critical step to sexual empowerment is giving young people the tools to help one another deal with a variety of social situations involving potential or actual abusive behavior. The Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) program encourages young people to help end men's violence against women, including sexual violence in dating relationships.

Founded in 1993, MVP is a mixed-gender, multiracial gender-violence prevention and education program. MVP trainers are former athletes who capitalize on the elevated status of athletics in this culture to connect with participants in highly effective ways. This rapport allows the trainers to motivate participants to play a central role in solving problems that have historically been considered "women's issues" -- rape, battering, and sexual harassment. Until recently, few campus or community-based programs encouraged young men to work actively on these issues. MVP motivates male and female participants to work together in preventing gender violence.

Utilizing a unique bystander approach, MVP views workshop participants not as perpetrators or victims, but as leaders and bystanders who can be empowered to confront abusive peers. By focusing on bystander behavior, MVP reduces the defensiveness and helplessness that many feel when discussing violence against girls and women. MVP facilitators create a safe space for students to have open discussions about difficult topics such as sexuality and abuse in relationships. The power of MVP lies in the fact that participants learn to serve as role models for their peers in working to prevent this violence.

During lively interactive sessions, MVP trainers use creative exercises, pop-culture media excerpts, and the MVP Playbook to spark discussion of the ways female and male leaders can confront, interrupt, and prevent violence by their peers. These sessions take place in both mixed-gender and split-gender settings. Participants are encouraged to find concrete options for intervention in difficult situations.

The MVP Playbook series comprises age-appropriate and gender-specific real-life party, school, and neighborhood scenarios that portray physical and/or sexual assaults. Each scenario places participants in the role of bystanders; situations range from overhearing sexist comments to sexual harassment, alcohol and sexual consent, and battering. Scenarios also include the harassment of gays and lesbians. MVP trainers make it clear that all these manifestations of sexism are interconnected and that all the topics are directly related to women's sexuality. Ultimately, by ignoring these issues, young women are at greater risk.

One scenario from the MVP High School Female Playbook addresses alcohol and sexual consent: You're at a party where kids are drinking. A friend of yours has gotten drunk and a guy is trying to convince her to go into a bedroom with him. She seems reluctant.

After reading the scenario aloud, facilitators lead participants in an interactive dialogue that analyzes the abusive behavior. In this example, facilitators ask questions that address the connections between alcohol and sexual assault: "How does alcohol affect you?" ... "What does the law say about alcohol and sexual consent?" ... "How might alcohol be used as a tool of coercion?"

After looking at how our society glamorizes the mixing of alcohol and sexual intimacy, and the impact of this mix on one's sexual experiences, participants are asked what they would do as empowered bystanders if they were ever in a comparable situation. Different options are examined, ranging from a safe, direct intervention at the time to seeking help from a trusted adult. Time is spent brainstorming the circumstances that might dictate the particular option a participant would pursue. The only alternatives consistently discouraged are doing nothing and/or putting themselves in physical danger. Facilitators keep the discussions real by using personal stories and illustrations from the media.

Independent evaluation has proved MVP to be effective on the high school level. It produces significant positive change in knowledge, attitude, and behavior relative to gender violence and prevention. Says one MVP high school participant: "I'd strongly recommend the program to anyone. It helped me in ways I never thought possible, and it could definitely help others. If everyone had MVP, we would have nothing to talk about."

The power of the MVP approach lies in its positive call for proactive, preventive behavior. By encouraging a generation of leaders who understand that in our society women are often viewed as sex objects and taken advantage of physically and sexually, we are beginning to foster the development of women and men as healthy sexual beings.

For more information about MVP, call (617) 373-4025 or visit www.sportinsociety.org.